Fear is often a liar
Getting to know yourself isn’t as easy as we think. Often it is because our thinking can be our biggest problem. Getting out of our own way, or at least out of our own heads, really helps.
One way that has been useful to me is recognizing fear. A fear could be someone else, myself or an event. Fears can also be a resentment. A lot of fears or resentments we have can be irrational and some can be real. It is normally the story we tell ourselves about that fear that leaks out in our behavior, to ourselves or others.
Fear is normally a liar and it’s normally cloaked in a resentment against myself or others. We fight against going through the truth and often chose to go under, over or around honesty. If it’s ignored it can turn into a motion picture show in our noggin. We write scripts for ourselves and others around us (by the way, they never get to read their scripts, or even know they have one).
Confronting fear honestly has helped me collect mindfulness and address self-awareness. It’s helped often when I CHOOSE to unpack it. Unpacking fear is pretty simple if you are fearless and honest and it starts with your understanding of the following items:
Fear/Resentment – As an example let’s say I promised someone a project under a certain deadline and didn’t deliver. Look honestly at these four areas and truth very well may come alive.
Selfish - Are you being selfish in your thought of fear or resentment? In other words, if I am mad at someone or myself or fearful where is that coming from? Am I selfish in my thought of how I actually prepared to meet a deadline or selfish in my expectations of others? In the example of making a promise just maybe I was selfish with my time, and now I am mad at them or afraid of them because I was selfish and now it’s just easier to blame anyone but me.
Self-Centered - My fear can be based on my desire to want to be liked. For example, I chose to do the things I wanted to do or for the people that give me applause and procrastinated on the very things I promised.
Dishonest - Am I dishonest with myself or others about my fear? Maybe I chose to blame others for being late on a project. What part did I play?
Afraid - The last and often the most important, honesty. Honestly, what am I afraid of? I can be afraid of not getting the things I promised others I would do. The truth is under this example, I was selfish with my time, self-centered with my promise and dishonest with myself and others with the deadline.
When I choose to unpack this honestly, I learn my tail off. I can stop blaming, over promising, procrastinating, and I can create a new world. I can stop living in fear.
There is real beauty in the truth, and the truth will set you free is real.
Try it with a fear or a resentment. Outside fear is often a liar; bringing that fear inside and unpacking your part is truth, and that, my friends, is self-awareness at its finest hour.
Scott McGohan
